As much as some of us hate going through adversity, challenges and painful situations. They really have a remarkable way of shaping who we are. Positive or negative. For better or for worse.
We choose which perspectives to adopt based on who we are, our resources, our support systems and the situation with the people involved. For instance two people can go through the same situation yet choose vastly different outcomes. They choose to become drastically different people. One would develop a mellow, nice personable character the other a cynical, mean & hateful person. Nature versus nurture, the battle continues.
Me? I'm glad I faced all the adversity in my life. It, simply put, has made me who I am today. It has made me intolerant on a lot of behaviours and has taught me how I want to treat others. I have absolutely no patience for people who don't stand up for others, like I obviously would, it makes no sense. Clearly selfishness has taken over loyalty, not everywhere, but a good amount.
Like this one time at a gym, where I do not belong to anymore for obvious reasons, I was in the women's change room and a mother and her daughter came in to use the washroom because it was the closest washroom. I suppose it is a women's washroom and there is another exclusive family friendly washroom, alas it is farther away and her daughter couldn't hold it. I mean why take the chance. Ah yes, it was just me and an off duty staff member, Brenda in the change room. While I had absolutely no problem with the situation Brenda starts going berserk. Saying that this is a women's only change room, while the mother explained that it was too far away, hello completely understandable. But noooo Brenda continues her hateful barrage and she is a mother of grown children no less. I'm not even a mother and I was ready to rip her head off like how dare you even say one mean word to these unassuming ladies. Offering excuses like they didn't flush the toilet. You know why they didn't flush the toilet? Because they were too busy being harassed! Who is going to take the time to do that when you are being violated like that. You know what I said? I said we all look the same, seriously, like her kid is a big deal. Well it's not and as Brenda was screaming and shouting I said to the mother, " You know what don't worry about it." She was already leaving though becuase this particular staff, of course, felt she had the power to verbally abuse another patron because of a mystical mirage of power she thinks she has becuase she works there. That is so hilarious words can't express. Like she has no power. We have no power. Any power is just an illusion.
Then after they left of course she is not calm and saying things like, " I'm sorry you feel that way" & "I don't want to argue with you." Yeah I'm sure you are real sorry. I told her that she came on way too strong. I think that is an understatement!! This is a great example of an aggressive person. Stomping on whoever is in their way just to see things done the way they think they should be done and expecting me to keep my mouth shut that's a laugh and a half. This is why mean, fake, aggressive people like that turn me off. Ones who only care about themselves, the material world and superficial things. I've been in a position before where in a kitchen, you may have read about it becuase I did a post on it, the cook was being extremely abusive. The one person who could have stood up and ended the whole thing or at least given much needed support, didn't. I knew her from before the retreat too, we had a couple conversations, which makes it laughable that if you have conversations with someone and think you know them? Hahahahaha Actions, people, actions. NOT words.
Had I said nothing at all I would have been condoning the whole situation which I did not condone at all. Given the chance I'd do it all over again! That lady was in no position to defend herself. Here you are trying to take care of your child and someone is yelling at you for it. I'll tell you where to go. Completely unacceptable. What I should have done was report the employee immediately, it wasn't a secret that she worked there, plus there are many negative things I could say about the rest of staff on payroll. Alas why I do not go there. This was, and I have the date, April 10th 2015. I'm still feeling very, very strong about it now. Always meant to blog it now voila! Done, finito. Suffice to say Brenda needs` help, prayers and serious therapy.
The moral of the story is that we should not be afraid to stand up for others when they cannot do so themselves.